Navigating Personal Preferences in Relationships: A Balanced Approach

In the journey of relationships, we often find ourselves at a crossroads, questioning whether to pursue a specific person or focus on the qualities we desire in a partner. This dilemma can be perplexing, but as Bentino, a thoughtful voice in the spiritual community, shares, the key lies in understanding the essence of our attractions.

Firstly, it’s crucial to acknowledge that having preferences in relationships is natural. If you’re drawn to a particular individual, it’s okay to imagine a future with them. This doesn’t encroach upon their free will; rather, it’s an expression of your desires. However, it’s essential to introspect: why are you attracted to this person? What qualities do they embody that resonate with your inner self?

Ben suggests an insightful approach: rather than fixating on a specific person, try to extract the essence of what they represent to you. Are they kind, adventurous, intellectually stimulating? Recognize these qualities and seek them in your relationships, whether with this person or someone else.

It’s also important to consider the nature of relationships themselves. Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Instead of idolizing the idea of a ‘perfect partner,’ focus on what each relationship teaches you about yourself and your journey towards personal growth.

Remember, your happiness doesn’t depend on another person. It’s about owning your joy and realizing that your well-being is within your control. If a relationship doesn’t work out, use the experience to empower yourself, understanding that sometimes, the lessons we need come from not getting what we desire.

If you choose to pursue a specific individual, embody the qualities they represent. By aligning with these vibrations, you not only become a match for that person but also open yourself to others who resonate with your elevated state.

In summary, while it’s fine to have preferences in relationships, don’t become too attached to the idea of one specific person. There’s a whole world of possibilities out there. As Ben wisely puts it, “Dry your eyes, mate; relationships change.”


“Embrace the essence of what attracts you in others, and you will attract those who embody that essence in your own life.” – Bentinho

The Bible offers wisdom on the nature of love and relationships, which aligns with Ben’s teachings. As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”