How to Truly Help Someone: Embracing Their Journey for Real Transformation
Helping others is one of the most fulfilling things we can do, but sometimes our attempts to help can unintentionally cause harm. What we see as “helping” may actually interfere with someone’s personal growth. It can be difficult to watch a loved one struggle, especially if they’re dealing with serious challenges like addiction, pain, or emotional suffering. However, the real act of love comes from understanding their journey and giving them the freedom to find their own way.
In this post, we’ll explore why letting go of control and embracing someone’s personal path—without trying to “fix” them—can be the most powerful form of help.
Help That Respects Free Will
It’s natural to want to alleviate someone’s pain, but removing their struggle for them can actually delay their growth. Each person has their own path, and while it might not be easy to watch, challenges are often essential for personal transformation. If we try to take away their “catalyst”—the pain or addiction that might drive them toward an epiphany—we could inadvertently slow their progress. They might stop their harmful behavior temporarily, but if it’s not their choice, the change won’t last. More importantly, our intervention sends the message that their current situation is wrong, which can worsen their struggle.
Instead of changing their journey for them, we can support them in a more profound way: by helping them understand their own inner guidance system. When someone feels bad or out of alignment, it’s a sign that their perspective is clashing with their soul’s deeper understanding. Our role is not to change their path but to help them recognize that they have the tools within themselves to align with their higher purpose.
The Power of Perspective
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
—Romans 12:2
The most significant shift we can make, both for ourselves and for others, is a change in perspective. What looks like a problem to us may be the very challenge that another person needs to experience to grow. In order to truly help someone, we need to see their struggle as a part of their journey, not as something that’s “wrong.”
This can be tough, especially when dealing with serious issues like addiction. However, seeing their experience as a necessary step in their evolution allows us to offer help in a different way—through love, understanding, and patience. Instead of fighting their choices or trying to steer them in a particular direction, we can guide them toward their inner compass. This way, they have the opportunity to shift their perspective and move back into alignment when they’re ready.
Guiding, Not Fixing
If we want to help someone, the best approach is to show them, through example and gentle guidance, how to tap into their own wisdom. Everyone has an emotional guidance system that signals when something is out of alignment with their true self. Feelings of discomfort or distress aren’t necessarily indicators that something is wrong; rather, they are signals that their current perspective is not in harmony with their soul’s higher knowing.
By teaching them to trust their inner voice, we give them the tools to make lasting changes—on their terms. We cannot choose their path for them, but we can offer them new perspectives, resources, and examples to follow. Ultimately, they must choose for themselves, but we can empower them by showing what’s possible.
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do
It might sound paradoxical, but the most loving thing we can do for someone in crisis is to stop trying to change their situation and start embracing it. Their higher self is always guiding them, even when it looks like they’re lost. They are never truly alone. By trusting their journey and helping them see the guidance available to them, we offer a more profound type of help. We give them the space to grow, to learn, and to come into alignment with their true self.
As much as we want to help, we must first recognize that their process is perfect for them. By seeing their state not as wrong, but as a critical part of their development, we shift our role from “fixer” to supporter, offering unconditional love and respect for their journey.
Quote:
“The greatest gift you can give someone is the space to be themselves, without the expectation of who you think they should be.” – Matt Kahn
Spiritual Reference:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
—Jeremiah 29:11
Summary Points:
- Resist the urge to “fix” others’ problems. Their challenges may be essential for their growth and learning.
- Recognize the uniqueness of each person’s journey. What works for one person may not work for another.
- Focus on offering support, guidance, and unconditional love. Allow others to navigate their own path.
- Empower others to connect with their inner guidance system. Encourage them to trust their intuition and emotions.
- Release attachments to specific outcomes. Trust in the unfolding of their journey.
- See challenges as opportunities for growth and transformation.
Actions:
- Practice active listening. Pay attention to what others are saying and feeling without judgment.
- Offer encouragement and support. Let others know you believe in their ability to overcome challenges.
- Share resources and information. Provide helpful tools and guidance, but avoid imposing your own solutions.
- Respect others’ choices. Even if you disagree with their decisions, allow them the freedom to make their own mistakes and learn from them.
- Cultivate compassion and empathy. Try to see the world from their perspective and understand their experiences.
- Focus on your own spiritual growth. The more aligned you are with your own inner wisdom, the more effectively you can support others.