Finding Your Inner Safety: It’s Okay, You’re Safe
Ever feel that little jolt of worry when someone doesn’t like something you did? Maybe you poured your heart into a project, or just made a simple cocktail, and someone’s reaction throws you off. You might not even realize it, but your mind instantly asks: “Am I safe?”
This feeling of needing to be safe is natural. It’s like our inner alarm system. But what happens when that alarm keeps going off?
The Three Stages of “Okayness”
Let’s break down how we process these feelings, using our cocktail example.
- Survival: Someone doesn’t like your cocktail. Your first thought might be, “Am I in danger?” Your body checks in: “Is this okay? Am I still safe?” If you realize there’s no real threat, you can move on. “Yes, it’s okay. I’m safe.”
- Personal Worth: But then, your mind might jump to, “What does this mean about me? Am I not good enough? Am I not worthy?” You might feel insecure, guilty, or inadequate. This is where we start questioning our value. The key is to remember: their opinion is their opinion. It doesn’t define you. You can choose to feel confident, no matter what. “It’s okay. Their perception is not my reality.”
- Social Identity: Finally, you might worry, “What will others think? How do I fix myself? How can I be better?” This is about your ego and how you fit into the world. If you’re not careful, you might try to change yourself to please others. But again, it’s about finding that “okayness.” “It’s okay. I’m secure in who I am, regardless of what others think.”
The Power of Acceptance
These three stages are about finding acceptance. It’s about saying “okay” to your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones. Many teachings focus on self-acceptance and mindfulness, and for good reason. They are the foundation of inner peace. It’s important to honor these feelings, but they shouldn’t be the only focus.
Healing Through Okayness
Everyday experiences, especially those that trigger old wounds, get filtered through these stages. Childhood trauma, for example, can create distorted energy, making you feel threatened or insecure.
The path to healing lies in bringing a sense of safety to these experiences. Relax, even for a few seconds, and see the inherent perfection in everything. Remember: everything is light, everything is love. Even trauma. Even those who cause pain. It’s all okay. You are fundamentally safe.
Moving Beyond the Basics
When you consistently find “okayness” in these stages, you create a solid foundation. Then, experiences can be understood from a place of unconditional love and wisdom. This is where you connect with your higher self.
Acceptance is Key
Acknowledge your feelings, relax into them, and find the perfection within them. This “boring stuff,” as some might call it, is essential. It’s the groundwork for living a life of clarity and peace.
Without this foundation, you might have moments of awakening during meditation, but they won’t fully integrate into your daily life. True transformation comes from accepting yourself and others fully. Then, every experience becomes an opportunity for growth and love.
Quote: “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” – Buddha
Bible/Spiritual Reference: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”1 – 1 John 4:18 (NIV)
Summary Points:
- Safety is a Fundamental Need: We constantly assess our safety, often subconsciously, in response to everyday situations.
- Three Stages of Processing: We filter experiences through three stages: survival, personal worth, and social identity.
- “Okayness” is Key: Accepting our feelings and finding “okayness” at each stage is crucial for emotional and spiritual growth.
- Trauma and Past Wounds: Past traumas can distort our energy and trigger feelings of insecurity and fear.
- Acceptance Leads to Healing: Consistently practicing acceptance and finding safety allows us to move beyond basic survival and connect with our higher selves.
- Foundation for Higher Consciousness: Working through these stages builds a strong foundation for living from a place of love and wisdom.
- Daily Practice is Important: Meditation is helpful, but integrating these principles into everyday life is where true transformation occurs.
Actionable Steps:
- Become Aware: Pay attention to your initial reactions when someone says or does something that triggers you. Notice if you feel unsafe, insecure, or worried about what others think.
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Don’t suppress your emotions. Acknowledge them, even the uncomfortable ones. Say to yourself, “I feel [emotion], and that’s okay.”
- Find “Okayness”: Practice saying “It’s okay” to yourself. Remind yourself that you are safe, worthy, and loved, regardless of external circumstances.
- Relax and Breathe: When you feel triggered, take a few deep breaths and relax your body. Even a few seconds of relaxation can help shift your perspective.
- Challenge Limiting Beliefs: If you find yourself questioning your worth or worrying about what others think, challenge those beliefs. Ask yourself if they are truly true.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a dear friend.
- Integrate into Daily Life: Apply these principles to everyday situations. Don’t wait for meditation; practice acceptance and “okayness” throughout your day.
- Reflect on Past Trauma: If you notice recurring patterns, consider exploring past traumas that may be contributing to your feelings of insecurity.
- Seek Spiritual Guidance: If you’re struggling to find “okayness,” consider seeking guidance from a spiritual teacher, counselor, or therapist.
- Practice Forgiveness: Practice forgiving yourself and others. Forgiveness helps release the energy of past hurts and allows you to move forward.